Tired of Fighting Part II

Don’t you hate constantly being in conflict? What can we do about it? The following checklist is for those who want to be free of conflict as much as possible based on James 4:7-11.

(   ) Submit yourselves, then, to God. (v. 7)

To submit to God means that you recognize that you’re not in control of your life because you’re ultimately accountable to God for what you say and do.

(   ) Resist the devil, and he will flee you. (v. 8)

The devil will make suggestions to your thoughts in a conflict. He will try to convince you of the worst things about a person and give you evil ideas for dealing with them.

(   ) Come near to God and he will come near to you. (v. 8)

God doesn’t want us to run away from Him when we mess up. He wants us to come to Him, confess our sins, and be free from the guilt, shame, and regret that plagues.  

(   ) Wash your hands, you sinners. (v. 8)

Did we raise our voice? Curse someone out? Hit somebody? Whatever we did in this conflict that didn’t honor God—we need to confess our sins to one another.

(   ) Purify your hearts, you double-minded. (v. 8)

Sometimes we can sit and stew about something until it steals our joy and peace. We need to look intently at our hearts where pride, jealousy, or envy can reside.

(   ) Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. (v. 9)

Choose to resist glorying in your conflict. While it may be funny or pleasurable for a season—the ramifications of our sins can follow us for life. Recognize that Jesus bore the cross because of your sin.

(   ) Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. (v. 10)

Choose to lower yourself. You make the choice to forgive others if necessary. Begin to see the bigger picture that God wants to use you in great ways, but your pride will block it.

(   ) Brothers [and sisters], do not slander one another. (v. 11)

Resist the urge to slander the one you disagree with. You stay above the conflict by not talking about it with other people—except if you are seeking wise counsel from a mature believer.

After following the checklist, ask yourself this question:

Am I handling this conflict in such a way that this person would want to know Jesus after dealing with me?

We are called to peace not conflict. We are called to resolve conflicts quickly with grace and mercy. We are called by God to be His representatives first in our home and then to the world.

Aren’t you tired of fighting yet?