Dig out of the Pity Party Pit!

Have you ever felt so frustrated that you were ready to give up? Usually after a deeply disappointing experience, we fall into the triple P (pity-party-pit). Use the following acronym  "DIG OUT!" for the next time when you feel a pity party coming. 

D-        Do something with yourself

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might” (Ecclesiastes 9:10)

The easiest thing to do is to roll up in the fetal position and throw a blanket over your head. Instead take a walk, work out, call up a friend for coffee, clean up the house, or bake cookies. Do whatever you need to do to take your mind in a totally different direction.

I-           Initiate the scriptures you’ve memorized in the past

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32)

It’s the truth you know in your heart and mind that will set you free. Begin to rehearse those scriptures in your mind over and over again until you sense the peace of God taking hold of your heart. When you ruminate on God’s word in faith, your heart attitude changes from despair to hope once again.

G-        Go back to God in prayer

“I call on you, my God, for you will answer me; turn your ear to me and hear my prayer” (Psalm 17:6).

When we’re in the pit, we tend to just pour out our frustrations to God. Now it’s time for you to listen. Be quiet in this prayer time listening for the sweet, still voice of the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart.

O-        Order your words, actions, and thoughts in line with faith

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1).

Step outside of your situation and look at it again with eyes of faith. Recognize that nothing happens to you without God’s knowledge or presence. He has a plan for your life to turn everything (good and bad) for your best interest.

U-        Understand this tactic of Satan

“For we are not unaware of his schemes” (2 Corinthians 2:11).

One of Satan’s best weapons against believers is the spirit of discouragement. He wants us to get our eyes off God and onto our circumstances. The root of doubt, unbelief, or fear comes from the devil to keep us unstable in our faith so we can’t be about our Father’s business.

T-         Thank God at every opportunity

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

When we’re in the midst of the triple P, we neglect to see all the beautiful and miraculous surrounding us every day. Start with simple thanks…for the air, the trees, and sky. Work your way into your particular situation and find something to give thanks. Expressed appreciation to the Lord always results in lifted spirits.

Get out your shovel of faith and dig your way out of a pity party!

The New International Version, 2011. Grand Rapids, MI. Zondervan.

Tired of Fighting Part II

Don’t you hate constantly being in conflict? What can we do about it? The following checklist is for those who want to be free of conflict as much as possible based on James 4:7-11.

(   ) Submit yourselves, then, to God. (v. 7)

To submit to God means that you recognize that you’re not in control of your life because you’re ultimately accountable to God for what you say and do.

(   ) Resist the devil, and he will flee you. (v. 8)

The devil will make suggestions to your thoughts in a conflict. He will try to convince you of the worst things about a person and give you evil ideas for dealing with them.

(   ) Come near to God and he will come near to you. (v. 8)

God doesn’t want us to run away from Him when we mess up. He wants us to come to Him, confess our sins, and be free from the guilt, shame, and regret that plagues.  

(   ) Wash your hands, you sinners. (v. 8)

Did we raise our voice? Curse someone out? Hit somebody? Whatever we did in this conflict that didn’t honor God—we need to confess our sins to one another.

(   ) Purify your hearts, you double-minded. (v. 8)

Sometimes we can sit and stew about something until it steals our joy and peace. We need to look intently at our hearts where pride, jealousy, or envy can reside.

(   ) Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. (v. 9)

Choose to resist glorying in your conflict. While it may be funny or pleasurable for a season—the ramifications of our sins can follow us for life. Recognize that Jesus bore the cross because of your sin.

(   ) Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. (v. 10)

Choose to lower yourself. You make the choice to forgive others if necessary. Begin to see the bigger picture that God wants to use you in great ways, but your pride will block it.

(   ) Brothers [and sisters], do not slander one another. (v. 11)

Resist the urge to slander the one you disagree with. You stay above the conflict by not talking about it with other people—except if you are seeking wise counsel from a mature believer.

After following the checklist, ask yourself this question:

Am I handling this conflict in such a way that this person would want to know Jesus after dealing with me?

We are called to peace not conflict. We are called to resolve conflicts quickly with grace and mercy. We are called by God to be His representatives first in our home and then to the world.

Aren’t you tired of fighting yet?

Tired of Fighting?

How many of us have ever had a fight or quarrel in the last 24 hours? Most of us have had some disagreement with others. Reality TV shows center around some kind of drama. If everyone got along, the show would be cancelled. It’s reminiscent of the school days when someone yelled out, “Fight! Fight!” and the mob of people would run to watch the unfolding drama.

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? (James 4:1).

We have fighting not only in the world of reality TV, but actually in the church! Everyone knows about fighting in churches, but it’s not God’s will for His people. We’re to show the world a better way and stay above it—not being drawn into a stupid, messy fight.

Why do we fight?

#1) Wanting our own desires first 

God will grant the desires of your heart when you seeking His will and not your own selfish gratification. We need to first look for what is best for the kingdom of God in the right way and then He will take care of what you desire. (Matthew 6:33).

#2)  Wanting but never attaining 

God grants our desires according to His will and not ours. We frustrate ourselves when we mix up our needs with our wants. God meets all of our needs according to His riches and glory. (Philippians 4:19)

#3)  Refusing to ask God first

Many people don’t want to ask God first because they are ashamed because He sees their heart. We know it’s wrong to ask for things like…another woman’s husband or to win a million dollars in the lottery. We don’t ask and then we take it out our frustration on those around us. (2 Kings 1:13)  

#4) Asking with wrong motives

We get frustrated when God doesn’t answer our prayers, but we don’t want to take the time to examine our hearts to make sure our motives are right. Pure motives desire Gods' will even if we don't get what we want out of it.

In all of the above, we take out our frustration on people and then we have quarreling between ourselves. What are we to do when faced with this kind of conflict? Check out the next blog Tired of Fighting Yet Part 2 to find out.

 

The New International Version, 2011. Grand Rapids, MI. Zondervan.

Talk to the Hand!

Is it easy to ignore criticism? Things like I think your spouse was flirting with me, your child needs more structure, you could stand to lose a few pounds, you didn’t have to be so harsh, or just simply…you need Jesus. Ugh…it’s painful.

Why is it so difficult for us to hear truth?

Because truth demands change! Anyone who rejects the truth of godly counsel will remain in their baby state of faith. Let’s grow up and take steps of faith.

Step #1)          Confess our sins. 

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and 

purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). 

Sin causes us to stumble and darkens our eyes to the truth. Our unwillingness 

to deal with sin keeps us from moving forward to a better life of peace 

and stability. Deal with it by owning up in confession and 

receiving God’s forgiveness.

Step #2)        Acknowledge the truth from the Spirit of God.

“We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit of truth and the spirit of falsehood” (1 John 4:6).

God the Father sent the Spirit of truth to lead and guide us in the right direction. He speaks in a still, small voice in our spirits, but we can’t hear Him if we are too busy listening to our idols. We need to be quiet before God and listen.

Step #3)          Live the truth we know from the Bible.

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says”

(James 1:22).

By consistently reading, memorizing, and meditating on God’s word, we will live the truth. Live what you understand from the Bible to be right. No more excuses. God gives each believer the grace to live righteously.

Step #4)          Repent of bad behavior.

“Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent” (Revelation 3:19).

To repent is showing that you’re no longer ignoring truth. You may have to apologize to someone, pay back money you owe, or walk away from certain friends. Repenting is the proof that you’re living for Jesus Christ and not for yourself.

Step #5)          Walk in restoration with God and people.

“Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace” (2 Corinthians 13:11).

We can take medicine to heal our physical bodies, but the only medicine for a broken spirit is the Lord. When we turn away from our own ways and turn towards Christ, He heals our hurts. He wants us to come with a broken and contrite spirit so He can heal our wounds.  

Should we accept all criticism as if we have sinned? Of course not. We must pray for discernment and be willing to ask the question “Is there truth to what I’m hearing?” Always screen criticism through the light of God’s word and the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

Put down the hand of protest and receive the gentle pruning from God.

 The New International Version. 2011. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

When God says Wait!

Waiting isn’t fun whether it’s in traffic, the grocery line, or the doctor’s office. It’s even more difficult when you are waiting on God to answer your prayers. You don’t have a definite “yes” or “no” so you hang in limbo.

A “wait answer” from God doesn’t mean you don’t have anything to do. Waiting on God is an opportunity for you to grow up stronger and more mature in your faith. It stretches your trust in God’s best timing.

What to do while you wait?

W-    Walk Closer to God

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).

Your most intimate times will be in the quietness of His presence. This happens when you set a deliberate time and place to meet consistently with God. Have your Bible, notebook, and worships songs (or hymn book) nearby.

A-    Ask for a greater measure of faith

“Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ” (Romans 10:17).

God increases your measure of faith when you make His word a more predominant feature of your life. Your Bible should be opened more often during the week than just on Sundays. Waiting on God means engaging your heart and mind to read, meditate, and pray specific scriptures every day.

I-     Investigate your motives

“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures” (James 4:3).

Could you give up your request if God wanted you to? Or do you clasp your hand tightly over it? God knows your heart better than you do. Hand your desire back to God so He can mold and shape it into something much better than what you could’ve imagined.

T-     Trust Him

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all our ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Consider God’s reputation in the Bible, in your life, and in the testimonies of other believers. Hasn’t He been faithful to you? Has God ever failed you? You see what is in front of you, but God sees everything. He’s got the big picture in mind and He won’t let you down if you trust completely in Him.

God is faithful to hear and answer every single prayer according to His will, not yours. If you really believe that God exists and shows His favor on those who love Him—you will grow up in your faith whether He answers yes, no, or wait. He’s got your back.

The New International Version. 2011. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

When God Says No

It feels like a dead end to hear “no.” A parent, a spouse, a friend, a boss, or God can refuse your request leaving you with questions that may never be answered.

What do we do when God tells us no?

Throw a temper tantrum?

Stop praying or reading your Bible?

Stop attending church?

Let’s be honest and admit that sometimes we want to quit the faith when things don’t go our way.

Just as earthly parents tell their children “no” in order to protect them, God does the same thing with us. His unconditional love won’t allow a “yes” for requests that run against His will for your life or the generation coming behind you.

What should you do when God says “no”?

Step #1)          Trust completely God’s loving hand over your life.

“In you, Lord my God, I put my trust” (Psalm 25:1).

When God says no, it will break your heart and you may be tempted to not trust in Him with all your heart. Yet this is what trust is—trusting when you can’t understand His ways. When you trust in God in the darkness, your walk with Him becomes more keen and clear than if you could always see what’s next.

Step #2)          Recommit to follow Christ no matter what.

“But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up” (Daniel 3:18).

When Nebuchadnezzar threatened Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego with the agonizing death by fire, they recommitted themselves to serve only God even if they had to die. Every believer will be tested in this way that will stretch and grow our faith so that we will learn perseverance under fiery trials.

Step #3)          Revaluate our life journey with God.

“Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” (Matthew 10:38).

Taking up your cross isn’t a pretty walk across a park. At times it’s difficult, painful, and heartbreaking. You need to make sure that you’re all the way in the faith. Jesus gives meaning in the madness, strength to the weary, and salvation to those who turn to Him with their whole heart.

Step #4)          Surrender your will to His will

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

God wants each one of us to come to the place of reckless abandonment to His will for our lives. We surrender our hopes, dreams, and visions for His ultimate glory. As a result, we faithfully trust in His ability to give us the good and perfect gifts in His timing.

When God says “no,” He is doing you a HUGE favor. Check out the next blog, When God says Wait, to learn the last step in answered prayers.

The New International Version. 2011. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

When God Says Yes!!!

God said yes after you’ve prayed, sought godly advice, considered your circumstances, and stepped out on faith, right? Now strap in and begin the journey of the bumps, potholes, and swerves.

God said yes and you made the team, but sit the bench. God said yes and you get the job, but have a horrible boss. God said yes and you bought the house, but the basement flooded. Did God really say yes? 

Yes!

Bumpy Road #1)       Be careful what you ask for!

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps”

(Proverbs 16:9).

When God answers our prayers we often expect everything to be easy street. However we must keep in mind that God’s ways are always bigger than our desires. His plans for your life are often much bigger than you because He’s working everything for the good of those who love Him.

Bumpy Road #2)       Expect to be blessed above and beyond what you asked for!

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” (Ephesians 3:20).

God will always outdo your expectations because He loves and wants you to experience His abundant blessings. The Lord looks beyond our meager requests and pours out a blessing that we can’t keep to ourselves. He blesses us to be a blessing to others whether it’s spiritual, emotional, physical, or financial.

Bumpy Road #3)       Stay alert to the strategies of the enemy!

“In order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes” (2 Corinthians 2:11).

When David was at rest from warfare, he fell into the horrible web of adultery, murder, and lies. It’s when everything seems to be going our way that our enemy, Satan, will launch a sneak attack on our minds. Keep aware of his schemes and continue to stay close to the Lord in prayer and Bible study even when you aren’t in the desperate straits before He answered said yes.

Bumpy Road #4)       Recognize that God isn’t always going to say yes!

“But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil” (Hebrews 5:14).

God isn’t your own personal Santa Claus. He’s your Father in heaven who knows what is best for you at the right time and the right purpose. The Lord isn’t waiting around to answer all your prayers so that you could have a comfortable life. Rather He will make you uncomfortable to stretch and grow your faith in Him.

Don’t be surprised about your bumpy road, rather continue to trust in Him and rejoice in the fact that He’s hearing your prayers and answering them according to His will—not yours. But what happens When God Says No...check out my next blog to find out!

The New International Version. 2011. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.